Running Scared from Posting About Myself

Why am I scared?

This is a big doozey of an insecurity of mine that I recently posted to my TikTok account about. I love posting about my artwork, the thought process behind it, the process videos of how I made it, then final pictures of the completed work. But that isn't enough anymore. 

Think about it, whenever you buy something don't you love relating to the person you're buying from? Don't you love the personal story behind a piece of art? I was sharing the story but not myself. In this day and age customers want to know the artist behind the art - and for me that's scary. Sometimes it's more than scary and gives me anxiety for days, but if I ever want to be successful at this abstract art business I needed to try.

Weirdly enough while I was having a personal crisis of showing myself on social media and on here I saw a TikTok that really resonated with me. It asked the big reason of why you were scared to show yourself? And when I thought about it I felt that people would judge me. I thought folks would comment negatively about my looks, or tell me I was being stupid or dumb and leave me feeling less than human. But at the end of that TikTok the woman had asked, "so what?" Now I'm sensitive as fuck and my answer to that question was well I'd be mortified and want to hide under a damn rock for all of eternity but then I re-thought about it. 

I want my art business to thrive, to be something I'm proud of until I leave this green earth and to do that I have to be myself. Myself that doesn't wear make-up if I'm not working, myself that loves watching fantasy movies and all movies where things blow up, myself that is in love with books, the me that I really am deep down inside. I realized I would be giving you the art without the feeling behind it, and I didn't want to do that.

Even though sometimes it scares the shit out of me, I do not care anymore. I will be me with the messy hair that shows you the art I am damn proud of making. I will be me with the horrible lip singing on TikTok that shows you who I am, so you understand where I'm coming from with my art.

I want you to know who I am, relate to who I am, and want to be apart of my little art community with me. So while I may be cringy as fuck, be cringy with me. Make those videos that you want to do but are afraid of. Let's be a little brave together, then maybe a little ways from now it won't be so scary.

Hope your day is amazing and full of love.

All the best,

Olivia

 

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